So I wanted to be creative with my title and peeing is always creative. Last month it was officially my anniversary of being diagnosed with Type I diabetes. 24 years on September 4th. I can remember it all. People always ask me "So, how did you know you had it?" I always start the conversation off with pee of course because well that's why I got tested for it in the first place. I was 6 years old and I was still peeing in the bed at night. I remember waiting in the bathroom for what seemed to be like forever to a 6 year old to pee. Mom would turn on the water and I'd wait there until I heard that trickle, then and only then could I go to bed. But low and behold I'd wake up in the morning to a puddle of pee. So two weeks after my 7th birthday I went to the hospital for tests and was diagnosed with diabetes. I remember doctor's and nurses being there and mom crying but really wasn't sure what was going on. All I knew was that I had my favorite blue dress on with elastic in the waist and I was happy. Things progressed prettyquickly from there and I was sent into education mode at 7 years old. At 7 years old I was thought how to give injections first into an orange, then a doll, and then myself. At 7 years old I was thought how to prick my finger and what my blood sugar should be and what was "normal." At 7 years old I was thought how to recognize hypo- and hyperglycemia and what a hemoglobin A1C was. At 7 years old I was told what I could eat and most importantly to a 7 year old, what I could no longer eat. I knew what was considered a starch, protein, an extra and how many I was allowed to have. I just didn't understand. Years ago diabetic diets was a lot stricter than it is now. I remember counting out 10 french fries to equal one starch, weighing my meat to make sure I had the right amount of ounces to equal one protein, plugging my nose to drink my five glasses of milk per day, only allowed one piece of chewing gum per week, and looking forward to Sunday's because that's when I could have a diet pepsi and chips.
Halloween just sucked for me. Dressing up and walking around for hours to get a bag full of candy and about 2 bags of chips. Every knock on the door I would wish for a bag of chips but nope more candy that I could not eat. At the end of the night I would bring my bag home and trade my candy with my sister and brother for their chips. I felt defeated. Some nights I would give up early and go to the playground for an hour or so before I Came home so it wouldn't be obvious how disappointed I was.
The hardest part was the teenage years because it's not "cool" to take a lunch to the hockey game in a brown paper bag or not being able to eat the same things all your friends are eating. That was always my biggest problem with this damn disease...missing out on the food. Not just junk food but I wanted bigger portions too LOL
I write this not to complain or whine but to enlighten. People look at me now and see me punch in a few numbers into my pump and say "that's so easy." I write this to tell you that it's not. It wasn't as a child and it still isn't as an adult. As I get older, I am forced to think about things I didn't have to as a child due to the "fable of immunity." After 20 years is when you generally see the complications of diabetes surface and show it's ugly head - neuropathy, retinopathy, nephropathy...and anything else that has pathy on the end. I think about having children and what effect this will have on them as they are developing inside me and if it's going to be something that I will pass on to them for the rest of their life. Can my kidney's withstand the ordeal of being pregnant? Will I go blind and not be able to see them grow up? These are the fears that I have in my daily life and try not to think about only when I need to. My only relief is that at least I know the disease and I can teach my child everything I can so they can have an even better life and a lesser chance of developing any of the complications that come along with diabetes.
It's kind of ironic that I became a nurse. I hate hospitals. Even now sometimes when I walk into a hospital room I feel like I am that 7 year old child again in my blue dress looking out the window for a white car to drive by, that meant my parents were here and I was not alone.
Thank God I have a wonderful mother who devoted herself to making sure I was ok. For getting up early every morning and making sure I had my insulin and breakfast. For making me those lunches in the brown paper bags and for still getting worked up if my sugar is up or down at 31 years old LOL
So 24 years into this journey and I'm still peeing ok. Well, that means so far so good. No complications, no problems so far so I keep on truckin' as usual. A doctor once asked me if I thought I spent 14 hours a week managing my diabetes. My response was that I spent 24 hours a day 7 days a week managing my diabetes. From the time I wake up to the time I rest my head I have to be aware of everything I do. If it looks easy it's not. If I make it look easy, I have 24 years experience on my resume. It's my job and I work hard at it. I work every weekend, weeknights, holidays, I don't get vacation and no, I don't get paid overtime. Actually, I don't get paid at all.
So I can't believe I am going to mention a nursing theorist here but I am, Sister Calista Roy and her theory of adaptation. This is why I liked this theorist the most because it actually made sense to me. People do adapt to conditions in their lives and continue on living normal lives as healthy individuals. I have diabetes, I am healthy, and yes I am still peeing ok. People always say to me "You don't look like you have diabetes." Whatever the face of diabetes looks like I'm not really sure but I will surely try to continue to avoid it.
